The Anna Maria Island Sun Newspaper

Vol. 14 No. 21 - March 19, 2014

BUSINESS

Anna Maria Island Sun News Story

Stages of widowhood

Investment Corner

The very sad idea of a woman being suddenly alone due to the death of a spouse is not my most favored topic to write about. But, statistics tell us that 70 percent of women will outlive their husbands. Throw in the fact that, for a majority of baby boomer couples, the male has taken the lead on handling financial decisions, and we have the recipe for disaster.

Widowhood can be divided into three basic stages, with the duration of each of these different for every individual. The whole process may take years and should not be viewed as being on a set schedule.

Stage 1 is best described by the terms “grief” and “numb.” This is the most dangerous time, where she will need the most help from close friends and family. Notice I didn’t say advice or recommendations.

It is during the first stage that the widow will need her closest relationships to listen; for her feelings to be validated and understood. This is a time of very significant vulnerability, with feelings of pressure to do something. The best advice is to do little. It’s time to learn to breathe again and go through the natural process of grieving the loss of a life-long companion.

During this time the only financial or other significant decisions that should be made are those which simply cannot wait. Settling the husband’s estate, getting a handle on household cash flow, filing for life insurance and pension benefits, including Social Security, are good examples of what should happen quickly. Do not make any large financial decisions or commitments, particularly if they are irrevocable in nature.

Stage 2 begins when her cognitive functions have returned to a normal level, and she has accepted the reality of being on her own. It could be a few months, or even a year before she is ready to move into this phase. This second stage is more business oriented and begins the growth phase of the rest of her life as a more independent woman.

The second phase is the time to complete the larger scale financial steps. Many women do not have a good relationship with their financial advisor, CPA or attorney, who may have been selected by their husbands. In fact, 70 percent of women change advisors after the death of their spouse. It’s OK to change advisors, but this choice should be made after enough time has passed to be able to make the decision rationally.

It is during this time that decisions for her future start to be made, such as where to live, modifying the investment plan, planning for her own estate and heirs, if necessary. By the time Stage 2 ends, she should have a feeling of balance and, hopefully, financial security.

Stage 3 is one of self-fulfillment and taking care of others. It is in this stage that she can plan on how to shape her legacy for her children and grandchildren. Philanthropy and volunteerism may be important along with a growing level of independence. The feelings developed in this phase should bring a sense of fulfillment and confidence.

It is not my intent to slight the male reader of this article about his feelings if he were to become a widower. Some of the concepts still apply, particularly the advice to go slow in Stage 1 with major decisions. However, due to life expectancy differences and the inherent personality differences between men and women, I believe the impact is potentially larger for most women.

The idea of becoming a widow is certainly depressing, but with 12 million widows currently in the U.S., and about 1 million more women becoming widowed each year, it is a topic that should not be ignored.

Tom Breiter is president of Breiter Capital Management, Inc., an Anna Maria based investment advisor. He can be reached at 778-1900. Some of the investment concepts highlighted in this column may carry the risk of loss of principal, and investors should determine appropriateness for their personal situation before investing. Visit www.breitercapital.com.

 


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